Daddy's a Bit Riled

My father is one of my "Most Respected Persons." He's quite respected by others of his acquaintance, too, and with good reason. He is also generally a man of few words, and is rarely riled enough to show it (except for those totally effective looks of disapproval I remember so well on occasion when I was growing up!).


However, he has recently met with bureaucracy that has a very personal impact on him and many of his friends. Not government bureaucracy, but, rather, church bureaucracy.

My father is a pastor. He "retired" about 12 years ago, and has served where needed almost continuously ever since, at various churches, sometimes as a fill-in for a day, sometimes for two or three years. His hope is to serve his current charge about another year, then retire (again--although I have a hard time seeing him actually retiring).

Anyway, the church bureaucrats in our region have decided that all pastors must take a certain training course this year, or they will not be appointed to a church for the next year (years beginning and ending in June, in this case). The training is "Personal and Professional Sexual Ethics," and my father (and numerous others of his pseudo-retired friends) uncharacteristically decided not to attend the training. However, he really wants to serve his current church again.

And so, he drafted and sent the following letter to the powers that be and to friends. Loads of folks have read it by now; it was even read at a luncheon of quite a few retirees, many of whom have had to take the course or are going to be in attendance when my father takes it. It has brought many laughs, but also shows the frustration he feels about this.

Dear Conference Committee on Sexual Ethics,

I give up! I surrender! After so many insistent reminders and repeated
threats, I shall try to attend your "personal and professional sexual ethics"
training event next month.

I rather consider an arbitrary rule requiring a seventy-seven-year-old
retired preacher--who is about as apt to engage in sexual harassment as my wife
is likely to try out for the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders--to attend a "sexual
ethics" seminar to be the ridiculous, weak-minded, nonsensical, obtrusive,
irritating, absurd, exasperating, silly, perverse, offensive brainstorm of
either a power-hungry bureaucracy or a muddle-headed hierarchy.

However, because next year I hope to serve for one final year as a pastor
in the Tennessee Conference, and because I love the people and my work in the
churches I now serve too much to jeopardize my reappointment, humbly and
submissively I shall sit in on your inescapable training event.

Respectfully yours...

Even though he's being somewhat facetious, these are strong words from my dad! Bully for you, Daddy!


My sister suggested that he might want to take a book &/or newspaper with him to the training. Personally, I think a deck of cards is a good idea, so solitaire would be an option, or, if others need a diversion, some multi-player games could go on. Actually, a number of decks might be needed, so everyone that wants to can have a chance to play some sort of game. Maybe this "training event" won't be so bad after all!

By the way, one of his also-retired friends has requested that he let him know when my mother goes out for the cheerleader position, because his wife wants to go with her and try out, too!

Mary Susan

The day I posted this, I stated in the next-to-the-last-paragraph that my father's district superintendent (DS) had suggested the book/newspaper; I had misunderstood my mother completely! She said Carol (my sister) had said that; I thought she said Harold (the DS)! My appologies for any slander--it was totally unintentional. (You'd think my mother would have suspected I'd misunderstood when she saw my incredulous response: the suggestion seems completely out- of-character for the DS, but not for my sister!) MSB